As young kids, most of us would wait for a specific show on Cartoon Network, a channel that the kids of the 90s still hail. The show was about three super girls- Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup. Yes. We are taking about THE POWERPUFF GIRLS (did you just feel its title track playing in your head?) Three girls invented by a scientist and raised by him. Professor Utonium was a working dad teaching quantum physics at Townsville Research Center and owning a lab in his house’s basement. It was constantly shown as to how he juggled between raising his daughters and making discoveries. Though the girls never had a mother, they had a doting father.
It was an unique idea in the 90s to be a dad ‘involved’ in parenting which was considered to be a mother’s job entirely then. Patriarchy had its own justifications for that. As we moved ahead and times changed, fathers of now are struggling alongside moms to fit paid work with family responsibilities. Father’s time with kids has tripled since the last few decades, but according to experts, they are two times more likely than moms to say that they are not spending enough.
Expectations for dads’ participation at home have risen steadily over three generations—but the need to make a living hasn’t gone away. As a result, many of today’s fathers feel caught between the pincers of home and work. Though moms have struggled on both fronts for decades, the juggle is new and shocking to men.
Dear men, to get you out of the shock, today we have got 3 quick tips for you to become ‘A happy working dad’. So let’s spill the secrets:
- Find a family-friendly office or emphasize on making one: Some office setups are like a boon for working parents-a playschool at about 200m range, a break-out area where you could bring your child after school, a policy to reach and leave workplace flexibly and a workstation that allowed parents to sit with their kids other than maternity/paternity leave benefits. Sounds like paradise? This way you can spend a lot of time taking care of your child without compromising on your work (though you will have to multitask a lot). A lot of big corporations now give such flexibility to employees understanding the need of today’s evolved parenting. If you don’t work at such a place, it’s time you start advocating for policies like such.
- Focus on quality and not quantity: Have you ever asked your kids what’s most important to them? They might not care if you’re present for each sports day, but they may want you to be home for dinner every night. Listening to your kids will help you prioritize and improve your time with them. Make sure do not bring up office conversations, stress and work at home. Do stuff that you like or need to do. If you sit in front of a computer all day, make it a point to ride bikes or play sports with your kids. If you work with your hands, play mind-stimulating games or take the kids to museums. Be there in that moment with them to make the best of the little time you have. Even Shahrukh Khan does not touch his phone when he gets home to spend quality time with his kids. Inspiration much?
- Give yourself and your wife some credit: Psychologists say “Men need to appreciate and value what they are doing—not beat themselves up over what they can’t do!” So when you’re feeling down and ragged, take just a moment to list your contributions to the household and to the work, whatever they may be. If you approach it with honesty, you’ll likely find this exercise reassuring. And while you’re at it, try giving some credit to your spouse because it is very easy for working parents to take each other for granted which is wrong in a marriage. Your spouse needs you to serve as witness to his or her life—and your gratitude tells them that their work is visible and honored.
Having said this, it is also important to understand that failing is okay on somedays. If you could not be a good dad today, rectify it tomorrow. Rise and correct your shortcomings. Forgive yourself and start all over again.
Happy fathering!