There are so many shades to some people’s lives that we just can’t wrap them around our heads until we become one of those individuals ourselves. Mothers that work full time are one such race of superheroes that we never quite understand. Their emotional and physical plight is beyond us. What do we know about the significance of the silly drawing hanging on her desk at work, or about the sleepless night she had when we see her stretch in her chair in an attempt to soothe the pain in her neck?
Truth is, we have all come across at least one woman in our workplace who is also a mother, who enters completely flustered in the morning. What we don’t seem to realize at that very moment, is the hours of battle she has already fought at home, to simply dress her child for school and put a glass of Bournvita down his/her throat. What we don’t realize when we see her rush out of the office at the end of the working day, is that she, is not even close to the end of the day, with many hurdles and challenges yet to overcome and ALL of which she does, with the patience and grace of a queen (seldom angry outbursts are a showcase of her wide vocal range!)
This article is an attempt to give our readers an insight into the mind of these phenomenally complex women and ensure that their self-care is not left as far behind as our understanding of them has.
Perhaps on her way back home the travel is the only ‘me time’ she gets. She gets into traffic and starts calculating how long it’ll take until she gets home, to make dinner, to do homework, to do bath, and bedtime. To think that this travel is practically the only time of day she gets to by herself and that she spends it actively shutting off from work mode and into mommy mode, makes one wonder how she does it.
We see these women putting their absolute best into work all the time, whether that is in the form of simply being supportive of co-workers, attending meetings for matters that could’ve been handled in an email or working on projects that they trusted only themselves with.
The guilt, though! A woman who has most likely given up on her passion, is bringing a child up in this growingly complex world and maybe even making ends meet. The guilt of not doing either of these two primary jobs to the best of her capabilities is a known experience. The guilt for wanting to have a career and sometimes for not caring enough for it. Making a flustered call to say that her baby is unwell, requesting to reschedule or cover a shift. Panicking on getting a phone call from school and rushing away, are all moments she is well acquainted with.
The office parties that she didn’t attend or the post work hours chats and gossip she didn’t partake in, one thinks she’s missing out. She isn’t! She’s back home with a family that stands on her shoulders, with the one who laughs can bring a genuine smile on her face.
These women are too driven to be independent and are far too talented to not utilize their potential in a professional set up. Their involvement as a parent is so deeply instinctive that there’s no stopping them there either. In what appears to be a perfect juggling performance their own health is seriously compromised. Here are a simple but invaluable tips to keep you going and help you power through:
- SLEEEEP: do not compromise on sleep! Not sleeping enough to get extra hours in the day to finish work can eventually decrease your productivity and efficiency. Only break your sleep every 1.5hrs. So, sleeping for 6 hrs. or 7.5 hrs. will be suitable. (Each sleep cycle lasts 1.5 hrs. disrupting sleep in the middle of this disrupts your circadian cycles causing you to feel groggy on waking up.)
- “No”: Say No. You do not need to do everything by yourself and you do not need to overcompensate either.
- Feeling proud, not guilty: realize, that there’s only so much that each of us can do and YOU already do far more than that. Taking a day off, leaving office early, not taking your children out to shop or to the water park is completely alright. Take time out for yourself to be your best at both raising your child and at work (you can’t pour from an empty kettle) and most importantly because you deserve it.
Lastly, and simply–You have no idea what a great job you’re doing, that your everyday sacrifices and multitasking are no less than an artistic stunt, the beautiful and marvellous act of balance. Here is to your unshakeable spirit!