“Are these my baby clothes?” asked an 8 year old boy.
“Yes, my love. These are indeed yours. So tiny you were.” said the mother.
“But why have you still kept them in the cupboard. They are of no use to me. They won’t fit me” he said curiously.
“Because they are the reminders of how little you were-those small fingers and nose, those lovely coos and wails, that sweet baby scent. It reminds me how much joy you brought to my life, my jellybean” mother said warmly.
“Mumma, please don’t call me jellybean anymore. I am big boy now” he said dryly and ran off to play.
The mother stood there wondering. How did he really grow so big so fast?
Ever happened with you too?
Love them a little more till they are not so little anymore…
While you wanted to sing them another lullaby and they were already asleep without you? When you wanted to squish those adorable cheeks out of love that felt like the last remnants of their innocent childhood?
Dear parents, all this can feel too fast and fleeting, isn’t it? Your child outgrows your arms and you can’t even recall when it happened. All that you are left with are feelings of nostalgia or the worries of what comes next.
- Like it was just yesterday when your baby was all snuggled up on your chest, like he was so teeny tiny and you changed his diapers praying not to break his bones.
- Like how he used to say “you are mine, you are my mama” when anyone used to claim you away.
- How he smiled and let out his first belly laugh and you felt the innocent joy in hearing his earnest laughter.
- That anticipation of his first steps and you being his number one cheerleader crying with joy at his first milestone. Indeed a precious moment!
- When seeing him in pre-school would make you feel that your baby had come such a long way already! You would already miss his waddling around the house trying to make sense of the objects around him
- Primary school years would probably be when the cliché thought of “how time flies” first hit you. Oh! You would be the proud parents of a confident walker, talker and much more.
- Come the teens and probably you would be needed the least as he would swamp into a larger and more exciting social circle
As parents, we need to take a pause here and think. Don’t we always say that there is still ample time to spend with the kids? Or that ‘work’ is really urgent and spending time with the kids can be done tomorrow? Just self-reflect on these questions and you’ll know. Your children will grow up in no time like magic. Poof!
Knowing this can’t help you stop time, of course. All you can do is to soak it in, knowing that one day you will long to hold your crying baby in your arms for just one minute, that you’ll look at your clean living room and miss your curious child spreading his toys everywhere, that you’ll take a shower without someone yelling “MAMA” and feel a pang of sadness of a quieter house.
Seeing what time does to each one of us, you would have the urge to grab your child and keep them close to your side until they flee into a world of their own. The finite window of time can nearly cause panic about its own pace and acceleration.
There will be days when you’d sigh at the “days are long, years are short” sentiment, with mixed feelings of nostalgia despite undergoing the exhausting and all-consuming experience of parenting newborns, infants, toddlers and preschoolers. As they grow, they will leave behind a trail of bittersweet memories. But the fact will remain intact; parenting kids comprehensively, right from birth till their adolescence, will make them spend the remainder of their lives needing their parents less and less. As developmentally great as that is, it’s going to hurt.
Once they enter teens, they will spend more time with friends than parents. This might make you feel like on the edge of a ticking bomb, as if you are on a timer of making “quality family time” happen, given the young one can hang WITH you in his baby years right now rather than hang ON you later. Funny, isn’t it?
This is it people. The time is now.
The time is now to keep them close.
Time will ask you to switch gears from the 24/7 job of building up all the fundamental parts of their beings (safety, trust, healthy attachments) to BEING their fundamentals – their touchstones — in these years when they may still listen to you. When they still say “Mommy” and “Daddy” and rush to give you hugs at the end of the day.
All you have to do is- Enjoy that moment. Enjoy that NOW.