With summer’s sweltering heat, school going kids had their summer vacations on. Pooja’s toddler and 8 year old planned a pool party on the balcony. As the two splashed water inside the water tube, she was relieved that the kids are ‘busy’ with something on their own while she can finish her reports. Being a ‘mom-boss’ had its own struggle, after all. She turned on some light music and began working while carefully keeping a watch on her boys from the window. She saw some elaborate water game being naturally orchestrated by her older one while his baby brother followed his lead. She didn’t have to do anything.
With vacations, children have so many options to indulge in, she always thought. Yet, she had parents in her circle talking about their kids complaining – “I am done with this activity. What should I do? I am bored. Give me an idea or play with me.” While playing and spending quality time with her kids had always been her priority but recurrent whines and complaints of boredom had let her out of new ideas to keep her kids occupied. It was a drill for her!
The other day the three went out in the park as her 8 year old began with a little cycling and took the little one along too. As the two returned to her at the bench, they started to complain of boredom (the elder one began and the younger one had to copy, of course). “I am bored. Cycling every day is boring. Mumma, please let’s go home and do something interesting. Papa can join us too.” With a sigh, Pooja quashed the whining with a lecture on the way home, “When we get home, daddy and I have stuff to do so you both are going to play together and figure it out. We’ve been out ALL evening and Papa is going to return from work and we don’t want to hear about being bored. Okay?” Of course, the guilt trail followed her later.
With her kids’ never ending ‘I AM BORED’, she began revisiting her childhood to pick some cues about how to handle the situation as she strongly believed that it is good for kids to be bored. But how to convince them? As she searched her past, she remembered how she used to write movie-fiction, mimic everyone around her for the sole amusement of others, play board games and how she used to get glued to reading because she had nothing else to do most of the time. She remembered hours of self-created entertainment, games and activities that kept her from being ‘bored.’ Wish my kids learnt that too somehow! she wondered.
Most parents have a plight similar to that of Pooja’s. This all the time idea of ‘supplying ideas’ to kids to keep them occupied is detrimental to a child’s creative development as well as leaves the parents exhausted.
The modern world of learning where kids as young as toddlers and preschoolers have a plethora of extra-curricular activities to do is no less than a boon for the holistic development of the child. There are karate/self-defense classes, dancing classes, fun-filled weekend baking sessions, pottery sessions and what not. Kids nowadays have so many options and a spectrum of activities to simulate and develop them into hobbies that can enhance their creative and cognitive skills. Such options never existed a decade or two back! Do kids still need to depend on others/parents for getting away with their ‘boredom’?
Let’s talk about adult boredom first. How often are we bored with ‘2-minute noodles’ gratifying us quickly during the thrilling climax of a movie or metro rails being quick to reach our destination during which our eyes are mostly glued to our phones or scrolling through a gamut of movies available with ‘Netflix and chill’? Do we even know how it feels to be bored? Antsy? Anxious? Anything? Or are we so overworked that we can’t remember being bored? Do you remember being bored as a kid? Do you remember the feeling? Do you remember how good/bad it felt then? Sometimes finding answers to such questions and a little introspection can help us come to terms with the reality of our kids and think of best solutions for them.
While it is understandable to not compare our childhood with our kid’s given times have changed, the fact remains intact that it’s more work for us as parents to figure out a balance between the personality and brain wiring of each of our kids with their needs in those ‘bored’ times. Some kids thrive with a schedule full of what they feel passionate about while others get overstimulated and overwhelmed. Like there are some kids like Pooja’s who have their hands full and yet complain of being bored!
In our day-to-day lives, it’s annoying to hear the “I’m bored” refrain from kids and we may be avoiding it by making sure we have stuff lined up. You may plan ‘exciting’ activities one after the other to keep your kid from boredom but are you doing the right thing? Shouldn’t you let your ‘balls of sponge’ do something creative themselves in their boredom?
If we look at the science behind boredom, experts say that boredom breeds imagination and creativity and allows a child to figure out a sense of self, based on internal stimuli instead of external stimuli.
As per studies, boredom leads to daydreaming which in turn activates the creative side of the brain. So the less often we are bored, the less often we daydream, and our creativity has nowhere to grow. Some points to ponder over regarding the science of boredom are:
- Boredom is defined as a “state of dissatisfaction” which then motivates finding a way to feel satisfied again, stimulating creativity, curiosity, and innovation
- A wandering mind actually allows our working memory to have an “exercise” as it skims through the corners of our creative areas of the brain to come up with something innovative. It pushes our working memory to daydream better even while doing a task (maybe that’s why it’s true we actually do our best thinking in the toilet, except when children are banging on the door asking for another ‘excitement’ lol)
- For adults and teenagers, too much boredom, or not managing boredom well, can lead to risky behaviors to find stimulation (eg, gambling, drugs) Hence, a tendency to channelize boredom well and healthily is essential from early days (like finding creative solutions from within instead of relying on other people for entertainment)
Dear parents, hope you can see the scientific idea behind the positives of being bored. Toddler years are the perfect time to find pockets of time for boredom to thrive into creative play. Let you little sponges create and absorb their own innovation that self-amuses them and keeps them occupied and you really don’t have to be guilty about allowing them to find that excitement on their own. Because it is actually healthy!
Let that itch of being bored prevail where they are so helpless that they quench their own thirst and come up with new ideas- be it a pebble collection hobby or counting the stars or painting the walls with their imagination of ‘unorganized’ time spaces. Maybe this will let them turn ‘the best out of waste’ or come up with imaginary role-plays.
Give them more time to be bored. And creative. And innovative. And curious.
While you might just have to start with some cotton buds or headphones to drown out the “I’M BORED!” cries initially, but ultimately, you’ll see them seeping into their own world of creativity and art.
We are sure about you wanting more handy tips about handling this issue hence, we have more ideas lined up exclusively for you with our next blog Why boredom is good! Good reads!
Trackbacks/Pingbacks