Parents often whine,
“My 4-year-old son, Aman, pays attention only when he wants to. I’m showing him how to write the number ‘2’ for like the millionth time. I have told him to start at the top, curve the wrist to the right, and pull a line across.”
“As I talk, he looks at everything except at what he’s doing. He wants to go pee, eat something, look outside the window, fidget and play with his fancy stationery. I keep pulling his attention back to what we’re doing and my constant refrain is “Pay attention!”
“But I’m losing my patience!”
Sounds like your daily drill with your preschooler?
Well, let’s introduce the concept of attention span here.
Attention or concentration span is a child’s ability to give undivided attention to a specific task at hand. It requires blocking out all other stimuli – such as sound, visuals or unnecessary information.
As per child development experts, on average, children stay focused on a task for two to five minutes times the year of their age. So, for example a 4 year old should be able to focus between 4 and 20 minutes, possibly more, depending on the task.
It is important to monitor your child’s concentration span during their preschool years and make sure it is increasing slowly with time. As with all other skills, it is easier to build in the preschool years than later on in life.
Now the question arises-HOW?
There are many ways through which kids develop attention regulation, but one of the most natural ways is through unstructured free play, especially imaginative free play and playing outside.
Here are some tips for parents to encourage both creative and independent play:
1. Starting early. Have you seen an 8-10 month old baby being lost in that golden button of yours for 5 minutes straight? Or that it continuously babbles gibberish while looking at the tube light as if talking to itself? When this happens, take a step back and enjoy it because it is trying to concentrate.
2. Selectively choosing the right games and toys: Try introducing your 2.5-3 year old kid to focus games like die games where numbers have to be remembered, whose turn it is next needs to be recalled etc. instead of teddy bears and dolls all the time. You can also avoid toys with lots of lights, sounds, flash etc. but focus on open-ended toys that can be played with in many different ways. Blocks, trains, playhouses, play kitchen/food or household objects like newspapers, cardboards, utensils have endless possibilities for how they can be used and lead to creative and independent play. Open ended activities for 2-3 year olds with playdough, clay and similar fun material can also let their creativity flow. Step in to stimulate such play by showing them how to do it and then watch their genius.
3. Plan playing with them early in the day: It is known to all that toddlers and preschoolers demand a lot of attention from their parents. They can constantly run after parents asking them to play along. Playing and connecting with your child early in the day quenches that need for attention and causes it to play independently in a focused way in the rest of the day. So, if you find your child constantly saying “play with me”, then put off everything and do play the first thing and put away the breakfast dishes for later. You can play simple games like hide and seek, Go-cart on your back, catching ball etc. Pretend scenario like playing restaurant or grocery store can be fun too. Let them direct the scenario and set the scene and watch their creativity fly.
4. Let them play outside and socialize with others. It is often noticed that children talk without a language to a fellow child of similar age. While this looks cute, it is also adding to their socializing skills. Children engage in cooperative play even at younger ages when they play outside together. So when the child plays with kids of a similar age group, its attention is usually undivided in communicating with its new friend.
5. Routines stimulate independent play: Young children thrive on daily routines. 2-4 year olds usually have a set eating time, nap time, TV time, story time, play time etc. So they expect that activity in that slot. When you get in a routine, you tend to use that time for the corresponding activity very diligently and creatively. This is also true for play time with young children. Leaving them on their own during such time is a good idea to see what all ideas they can come up with. Non structured play is a good idea during this time.
Developing focused attention is a really important skill and early childhood is a sensitive period for its development. As a parent, you don’t have to buy them entertaining stuff. All you need to do is tune-in. Only then will you see the nuances in the growth, skill, and interests of your child. Once that happens working on attention span will be a less of a tussle for you!