After a tiring day, don’t we often reflect on how chill life was when we were younger? No offense to the ladies out there as I know you are still ‘sweet 16’ (even if you are of any age right now. Don’t let anyone say otherwise) But days when life was all about eating, sleeping, farting and repeating were golden, hands down. Way better than seeing your grumpy boss’s face every Monday as the first thing in the morning. (Okay, okay, we won’t talk of anything that might already give you a headache so let’s just skip it)
Those golden days as babies in your mom’s lap, snatching all her attention to be the apple of her eye even if you broke her favourite vase. (try breaking it at your current age and be ready for a death stare or one hour of emotional howling of how useless you are. Ugh!)
This got us wondering about the changes in life which are age dependent and got us to draw a comparison between baby life and adult life. By the end of this, you’ll know “how newborns are really in opposition to the rest of society and what can they do that’s objectionable for adults”. That’s their swag! Plus, we hope that this brings a smile to your faces. So brace yourself as by the end of our list, you will question yourself as to why you had that Complan to grow all those years and why you learnt to control your bladder as life was kaafi sorted as babies.
Way of it: Newborn vs. Adult
- You peed your pants? No worries as we got you: With babies, parents always keep a tab on how many times he/she is peeing/pooping and what colour is it. They understand that their kids are going through lots of changes and they’re proud of them even if they have to do loads of cloth diaper laundry. So basically, peeing is good news. However, it’s bad news for adults because it can be urinary incontinence or a binge session of eating whacky. I mean what? Can’t we even poop in peace? Eye rolls!
- Babies can pose naked but adults…censored!: Haven’t we all seen those ‘in bucket’ photos of ours having a shower and posing like a pro? Everyone went ga-ga over how cute you looked. We challenge you to do it now. Everyone will go running in the opposite direction calling you names You can pacify yourself with ‘I am still cute’ but dear adults, skin show is a no-no for biggies and a ‘get away with easily’ for babies. HUH!
- Mumma’s lips and boobs are mine: Babies have a way of finding boobies as they need food all the time and mumma gladly obliges, be it at a restaurant, airport or any place on the face of the earth. In fact, babies can kiss her lips out of love anytime, anywhere. Poor adult daddy in the corner be like what did he not do to get that unlimited access anytime, anywhere. Sigh!
- Baby set the house on fire? Oh! Never mind: It won’t be hyperbole, exaggeration or any of the ‘excesss’ words to say that babies get away with W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R they do. Broke the glass? No problem. Smashed the pot? I got it. Let water spill on the floor? I got you covered. Even if the baby drops your phone in the toilet, he is safe. Imagine your adult partner doing any of it. We are sure the damage cost would be no food, no talks, no favours and no sex. Uh-Oh! If being an adult means taking responsibility of all our actions, we need a time machine.
- Babies need a Kim Kardashian’s size wardrobe and they get it: We all have seen parents carrying 4 different clothing for a one hour outing with the baby for ‘what ifs’. Like what if he pukes, what if he pees, what if he stumbles in a puddle and the list goes on. So she’s got this dungaree, this frock, this T-shirt, this mermaid gown as safe alternatives to move around. As for adults, well, eye-brows will be raised without a doubt if they are found getting into different dresses every couple of hours. Poker face!
- Babies fart or burp, it’s good: Babies often develop indigestion and accommodate a large amount of gas in their little tummies. And when they try and release it via burps or farts, it is natural for parents. Celebration time! ‘Thank god he farted, he must be feeling so light. But, but, but. If you ‘relieve’ yourself like this as an adult, you better be ready to be called as Stinkers –The crown holder of I- got- no- manners with huge embarrassment.
- Babies get compliments all the time . Even for being lazy: They drool, they curdle milk, they have a dripping nose, be in overalls all day long and still they are the most beautiful creature parents have ever seen. It is common for an unwell baby to puke on the parent, or pee in their laps and parent take that literal shit as if nothing happened. However, tables turn for adults. If an adult does any of this, they are anything but beautiful in PJs throwing up around. Don’t believe us? Try dropping a plate of food on someone and you’ll know their wrath.
- Babies don’t pay attention yet you still love them:
You feel low? Your baby might smile seeing you.
You try self-blabbering away to the best of your ability in-order to engage and spend “quality time” with him? He will probably doze off in the middle of it.
You are sick? Well, he will still insist on playing with you.
He won’t care but you will still love him with all you got. If your partner did this?
There is a long list of being –ignorant, insensitive, non-loving, non-empathetic, non-sympathetic, selfish, this and that waiting for him/her. Poor fellow!
- Sleep all day and still get a royal culinary treatment: Babies can sleep as much as they want, as many hours they want and still get as much food as they want even if it is 3 at night or 4 in the afternoon! Do we need to emphasize on the fact that how much sleep we long for as adults but hardly get? If some ‘mistaken’ day you do sleep like 12-14 hours, you get taunts and ‘order your own food as it’s past lunch and the cook has gone’ dialogues. Weeping in a corner?
Probably it is all relative but we are sure that you can relate to this tweet by a person and it may salt the burns
“When I was a kid, I had nightmares about getting eaten by monsters. Now they just involve running into co-workers outside of the office”
Want to go back to square one? Take us back to our baby life!