Mihika and her daughter were at the table. While her daughter read the newspaper, she scrolled through her Instagram “Ohh! It’s so good” she said. “What are you talking about?” her daughter asked. “This entire idea of food blogging where a person experiences different cuisines-Mexican, Thai, Italian and all others of the world through activation of their taste buds. Spicy, bland, juicy, fruity, sweet and what not! All through their explorations without actually travelling across continents followed by such lovely pictures to get us folks jealous. Sometimes, I wonder if it is going to taste the same or different for me but I guess, I will still enjoy the experience even if the food is to my taste or not”
“Wow. That’s some cool observation, Ma. So are you indicating that we got to begin our exploration at the new Sushi corner tonight?” her daughter winked.
“Aye, aye Captain”! Mihika exclaimed.
As her daughter left for school, Mihika wondered about the plan. Exploring food options and tasting different cuisines was all about relaxing, savoring each bite at a time and experiencing the euphoria and content that it brings to the mind. As she wondered about her plan tonight, one idea hit her-What if parenting is similar to tasting new cuisines and could be learnt from?
Like any exquisite food recipe made of different ingredients, our children are made of different shades. Each interaction with them may be positive or negative just like any food encounter can be. What if we kept an open mind while dealing with kids, relaxing and enjoying the moment, savouring their each shade at a time, just as we would do with a new dish on our plate, wouldn’t that make us better parents? At least, it will definitely connect us and the children better as there are no expectations or judgements. You just go with the flow, take things one at a time while thoroughly enjoying the encounter. Bingo!
Of course, it is going to be a task for impatient and hyperactive parents who want full control of the situation. But then, ask yourself, would you eat smoking hot food and burn your tongue or wait till you can devour each bit of it? That is the patience you need while parenting.
As Mihika reflected on these thoughts, she got a call from a friend who was constantly ranting about how her 12 year old lost her water bottle, how she doesn’t complete her homework on time and about how doubtful she is of her company at school.
Mihika took the situation in her stride to share her thoughts with her friend. “Before reacting to each situation impulsively or due to a fear of it turning uglier, we as parents need to introspect a bit. All children are different with each having a different variety of flavors. How we respond to them will determine our experience and relationship with them. So instead of being impatient about it, take the back seat and try to resolve it one at a time, soak in each feeling that your child is giving you and draw out the flavors of each happening with no judgment. Hear them out, and show them the path with love. But most importantly, try to enjoy each experience as it comes. Treat it as if you are tasting a new cuisine. Like, you don’t know how that new delicacy on your plate is going to taste like but still you keep an eye on learning what you like and dislike all the while by just eating and not rushing. This even gives better returns in future. The same needs to be done while dealing with our kids”
Cool advice indeed, right?
As Mihika hung up, she felt a lot better. We never know what we are going to be faced with in our children. Even they don’t know! We can’t control that any way. But what we have control and autonomy over is our response. That we can fully master… well, most of the time. And that is good enough to create healthy connections and lasting relationships with our kids.
So go slow, be aware, seize and savor each moment with them with open arms, mind and heart so that you can totally immerse yourself in a two-ticket ride of unknown explorations with your kid. It is your attitude and reactions to situations that will determine the strength of the bond between you two and also shape up the life skills of your child.
Happy tasting!