Kindergartner – PSED
Social Development in Kindergarteners
Chapter 7.3
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Vivaan, as a toddler, was super possessive about his stuff. He would not let even his mum and dad ‘pretend’ to eat his food! So if another kid, especially a younger one would visit his house, he would be on a constant guard of his toys, his belongings and of course his food, for the fear that the child will take it along.
As he inched closer to turning five, there was a dramatic change in his social behaviour which left all his family members wondering…
Mumma take, this piece of chocolate is for you. (Trying to please)
Okay dad, you can have my favourite red car and I will take this grey one. (Agrees to rules more easily)
Takes out his paint colours and paint brush: “I will also colour my own pots mom just like Prisha did.” (Wants to be like friends)
No, I do not want to go to the market with you mom, I will stay home with dadi. (Expresses likes and dislikes)
Gets the peanut butter and bread from the fridge, and makes a sandwich. Bring it to mom “Here you go mama, your breakfast is ready!” (Shows increasing independence)
Can I also try, making the rangoli? ( Seeks new experiences)
I want to go on a holiday on a real airplane. (Knows the difference between fantasy and reality)
Let’s Reflect
Man is a social animal
A child eventually develops his/her own ways to get along with other children and adults. Demonstrates both demanding and cooperative behaviours. In doing so, parents play the part of role models- adults who show them how to be with others.
Before little ones can understand others’ perspective and feelings, he/she needs to introspect the following within self:
- My feelings are important to me
- Others have feelings too
- There might be a variation on thoughts and feelings from that of myself.
Significance of Social Development:
- Building friendships and getting along with others helps the child to feel positive about himself and others.
Eg: “Grandma my friend Vidhi, shared her crayons with me. She even got a lollypop for me”
- The child gains a sense of well-being when s/he is encouraged to take responsibility and to join in by helping with manageable tasks that interests him/her.
Eg: “C’mon son, let’s together make a milkshake for breakfast today.” Dad, asks the son to fetch fruits and lets him pop them one by one into the blender and churn. What a proud moment it was for little Vinay
- The child feels a sense of belonging in the setting when parents are also involved in it.
Eg: “What are you building Grisha? Oh it’s a doll house…. Let me also help you with it?” says mum
The power of Everyday Interactions
- The child enjoys playing with other kids and gets more conversational and independent
Eg: “Hey boys and girls what are you doing?” Vivaan quotes his teacher while emerged in a role play with friends!
- Continues to test boundaries but is still eager to please and help out
Eg: Child: Can I watch cartoons
Parent: Okay if you want me to get bored and sad
Child: Be happy mama, I will play with you!
- Begins to understand what it means to feel embarrassed
Eg: Child: Spilled his juice over the floor. Embarrassed, he quickly gets a wash cloth to wipe and clean it.
- Developing self-esteem is one of the key focal areas of this age-group. How other children perceive him/her, affects his/her self-image.
Eg: “Dad can I take my new big garage to my friend’s place to play with?”
- The child begins to come around the concept of standards like points, number of stars received, etc as a means to measure performance.
Eg: Child : “I am sad…. Anju Ma’am did not give any star today”
Parents feedback to children should be authentic:
Persistently positive information, is like persistently negative information,
Giving superficial, or false positive appreciation can act as a setback in the course of challenges faced, in personal/social as well as academic life. The child might thus lack the preparation needed to take on the real world. Remember to trust your child’s competence and resilience, which in turn is a result of initially fostered attachment.
Being a parent is rewarding but often demanding. However, knowing what your child is undergoing is a normal part of a young child’s development, can be very reassuring.
Having high levels of self-awareness and empathy enables parents to ‘tune in’ and respond in a reflective rather than an impulsive way. The relationships they establish with their child and the learning opportunities they provide will help their young child to develop the personal, social and emotional skills.
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